The Pit Still Calls…

Hello again girls!

Today I write about something that continually perplexes me.  Something that, no matter how hard I try, still makes me question. Something that I’m never quite sure if I’m doing right.  What am I talking about?  Following God’s will for my life.

Two years ago, I left a full-time teaching position.  Afterward,  I spoke at women’s conferences, co-authored a Bible study with a friend, even did a session at a young girl’s conference.  I also got the blog up and running, did more writing, and attended a fabulous conference on writing and speaking.  Yep, I was rolling right along, doing what I thought I should be doing.  Everything was right in the world…until…I let myself be pulled back into what I call the “pit.”

What is the pit?  Well, for different people it’s different things.  For me, it’s a past situation that won’t let me go.  Something that calls to me, whispers to me, yells at me, pulls me.  Whenever I let myself get pulled back into the pit (and I call it that because once I get in it, I can’t seem to get out), I begin to doubt.  I doubt what I should be doing, how I should be doing it, and even IF I should be doing it.  Perhaps I should correct myself–the pit does all those things I mentioned AFTER I let my mind wander back to the dwelling place of the pit.  So you see, I periodically visit the pit.  I know, if you were here with me, you’d be slapping me.  Yep, stand in line sister.  There are those close to me who would most definitely be waiting for that opportunity! Maybe I should say, that I won’t let it go. Ouch, that hurts just typing it!

Why can’t I let go? 

I can’t believe I’m writing this…it’s a control issue.  If I went back to that place… I know what to expect, I know what’s expected of me, I can function fine, I…I…I…  Wow, a lot of “I”s there.  Sorry, I had to stop writing and really think for a minute.  It is a control issue–I want to believe that I’m a “yes girl” for God, but am I really?  I feel like I’m not alone in this revelation or the thoughts I have had:   “I can say yes to God as long as whatever I’m saying yes to works with my life.”  OR “I can say yes to God because what’s being asked isn’t much out of my comfort zone.”  OR “I can say yes to God, but if it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to what I was doing before.”  God’s will for my life?  Yep, as long as it matches up with mine.  OUCH again!  Seriously, is that me?  

I have taken what I placed in God’s more than capable hands and placed it firmly in my own hands.  “I can handle this God.  No need for you to concern yourself.  I got this.” Truth is girls, I don’t have this.  I put myself through misery each time I go visit the pit (and those who are around me don’t have much fun either!)   I have to stop trying to control circumstances, and rely on the self-control that comes from my relationship with Jesus.  You want to know something funny?  I actually thought I was doing pretty good with that “fruit of the Spirit”     (see Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)  Now the gentleness fruit…

So, what about you?  Where do you see yourself in this story?  Do certain elements of my pit sound like somewhere you are or have been?  Are you someone who struggles with “letting go and letting God?”  If so, believe me when I say this, you are not alone, sister!  I talk with women regularly who experience difficulty truly letting God control every aspect of their lives, and believing that they are truly doing what God wants them to do.  The author of this blog is one of them.  If you are someone who easily accepts God’s will in your life, could you say a prayer for those of us who have a bit of a harder time with that?

I have found the verse that will be my reference for the times when I want to be the controller:  “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit” Psalm 147:5.  Why this one?  Because it reminds me of the awesomeness of our Lord.  He has placed a call on my life, and I have to trust that: (1) He knows what He’s doing, and (2) I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.  Maybe I also need the verses in Proverbs 3: 4 – 5 (NIV):  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Yep, those I definitely need…

May you resist the “pit” and find your strength, purpose, and calling in our Lord…

I found this on Pinterest, and it is so appropriate for this discussion…

Faith

 http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/47/19/46/4719460cfe42bd0ca52262052873d5a7.jpg

And for your recipe today, visit http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/01/baked-chicken-fajitas-recipe.html  This is something in life that you can control–what your family eats.  Pair this dish with some fresh fruit for a light, easy, and healthy dinnertime fare.  Here’s a sneak peek at your yummy deliciousness:

Baked Chicken Fajitas- just throw all the fajita ingredients in the oven and let it bake together.

Until next time, girls…

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