Frustrated…

I’ll go ahead and admit it–I don’t do frustration well.

Not. At. All.

I’ve been in a situation for the last few years (yes, I said years) that has caused me mostly frustration.

I know what you’re thinking–I’ve thought it too.  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I’ve tried.  I’ve been semi-successful.  I’ve been unsuccessful.  I’ve prayed.  I’ve fussed.  I’ve walked away only to return.

And to be quite frank, I’m at the point where…I’m tired of drinking lemonade.

Not exactly the kind of uplifting writing you wanted to read today, is it?

Well, my sweet…  Sometimes life isn’t uplifting.  Sometimes life is messy.  Sometimes life makes us want to stay in bed.  Sometimes life kicks you in the gut.  Sometimes life just isn’t at all the way you imagined it to be.

And sometimes…frustration wins.

It’s in those moments, those screaming-inside-your-head-because-it-isn’t-acceptable-to-scream-out-loud moments that you just need to do something.  Something positive, something redirective in nature, something that will get your mind off that “moment.”

Yep, I don’t usually do that.

Nope, this “fixer” thinks that she can make things better.  So she does…in her own mind anyway.  She makes a suggestion that to her sounds perfectly reasonable.  She offers a word of advice that will ease the tension.  She puts her head down to keep from giving one of her famous looks-followed-by-an-eyeroll.

Yep, everything is much better

Here’s the kicker, friends.  Things aren’t better.  Yes I may have an awesome idea, but if it isn’t the right time to offer said idea, no one will think it’s awesome.  Yes I may put my head down to hide what I feel from showing up on my face (and believe me when I say, my face speaks louder than my words!!), but my face may still show it–just not in as easy of a view.

Yep, this fixer really doesn’t fix anything.  All she really does is grow her frustration level…up and up and up and up.

Thankfully, God has worked tremendously in my life.  I am no longer an exploder with frustration–which is good news for those around me.

Unfortunately, I do tend to fuss about things with those closest to me.  I don’t take my frustration out on them–nope, I prefer to think of it as sharing it with them.

Yep…I’m just that kind of gal!

So what does God do with one so messed up as me?

He loves me!

In His love, He shows me things.  He points me to things.

caught

Take this verse from Psalm 88:  “I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out, blinded by tears of pain and frustration” (v. 9)  This, my friend, is a perfect description of me.  I get soooooooo caught up in whatever is frustrating me that I find I can’t get out.  I think about it constantly.  I have imaginary conversations in my head with the source of my frustration (and I win those arguments, thank you very much). The frustration takes on a life of its own…and it’s then that I get in trouble.

For it is then, my sweet, that I need my Savior the most.  But it is then, my sweet, that I can usually see nothing but blinding frustration, incomplete plans, awkward silences, explosive anger, unanswered questions, unbelievable reactions.  My frustration whispers; I turn my head and I see all those things that just make my heart beat faster, my blood pressure rise quickly, my head to pound.  In all that chaos, I have no way to see God.

Sometimes I have a love-hate relationship with my frustration.  It’s easy to hold on to what bothers us–even if it causes pain.

The hard part is letting go.  I thought God and I had put this behind me.  God had used my very wise and very awesome husband to speak some truth into my life after a particularly trying time in Frustration City.  We were making progress–of that I am certain… I had repented of the sin that was gaining a toe hold in my life…

And then…another event caused frustration to rear its head once again.

Our enemy wants nothing more than to keep us in that maze that our verse speaks about–if we are focused on the maze, our focus will not be on God.  And that makes our enemy happy…

I don’t want to keep making him do a happy dance.  I don’t want to continue to have headaches and heartaches over something…

I’m frustrated with being frustrated!!

I want out of the maze of frustration.  I can’t walk around in circles anymore.  If you find yourself in Frustration City also, let me offer you this verse: “Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure”  (2 Corinthians 13:11-12).

harmony

Will this be easy?  No, I’ve dwelled in this maze a long time.  Is it truly necessary for me to get out of this mess?  Absolutely, because nothing nothing NOTHING should stand between me and my God.  Only Jesus can work in me to change me–and I am open to it.  I want to live out this verse in 2 Corinthians; I don’t want to be a walking-talking billboard for the Psalm 88:9 anymore.

Because after all– these frustrations are temporary. I don’t want to live in Frustration City …

 

I’m packing up the truck…today, I move…

 

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1 Comment

  1. Debbie

    Oh to get the moving truck rented at my house…but every time I call to rent it they are all check out….urrrrr! Praying through this until one comes available..lol love ya my friend thank your you heart thoughts today!!!!

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