Letting Go…

Hello one and all! I know it’s been a while. But I’m here now, and I thank you for joining me.

So I happened upon this verse in Genesis, and I knew it would be the basis for a writing. Genesis 12, verse 1 says: “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.'” In verse 4 of that same chapter, we find Abram(ham)’s response: “So Abram went, as the Lord had told him;”

You may be wondering why these verses made such an impression on me. Well, let me tell you…

My friend, I have done a bit of leaving in my life. I left where I grew up. I left churches. I left ministries. I left jobs. I left relationships. I have even left this page for a period of time. While I wouldn’t call myself a serial leave-er, I would say that I am acquainted with the idea of moving away and moving on.

Here’s the difference between my situations and Abram’s. Mine were my choice. I knew why I was leaving, and mostly where I was going afterward. I didn’t have a lot of question marks as to what was happening. Most of the situations were my doing.

Abram’s leaving was different. He had no idea where he was going, how long it would take to get there, and what would happen once he reached his destination. He had some serious question marks in all the boxes.

I would love to say that I would follow God where He leads, but Abram’s story just amazes me that he would just go. Our verses say that he went–we do not know how much if any struggle he may have had. All we see in Scripture was Abram’s obedience.

He let go of what he knew to pursue the One Who knew him.

In that respect, I can totally understand Abram’s willingness to go. In the last few years, I have had opportunities to let go of some things. Some were easy, others were much harder. There were times when I just didn’t know why I was being led by God to let go–I just knew I had to do it.

My sweet, when I let go of the things that needed to go in my life, my whole life changed. I know it’s not the same for every situation, but for me, after clearing out some of the “clutter”, God had room to work.

I’ll let you in on a bit of my world–when I left teaching a few years ago, I was at loose ends. I didn’t know what I was going to do, all I knew was that God was in control. With a clearer schedule, God opened doors. Ministry became more than just inside the walls of church or at my job. I found myself in relationships where I could be a support and encouragement to someone in need. Less scheduled time meant more time with my man to travel or tackle home projects. Perhaps the greatest surprise and most incredible blessing to come out of the letting go is the chance to be so much more present in the lives of our kids and grandkids. I cannot convey to you how wonderful and humbling this has been for me–the incredible joy and overwhelming peace that has come into my life I know has come from God. My eyes fill with tears as I write this because I just can’t believe what a gift He has chosen to give me.

My dear friend, God knew what I needed. He cleared the path even before I knew the path needed clearing. He worked behind the scenes to put me in the place I am now–caring for grandbabies, growing in relationships with our kids. My soul needed this. And on this side of letting go, I can say with all certainty that I am so content, so fulfilled, so blessed. I know that God is using me to accomplish His purpose. I never knew I needed to be where I am…but He knew.

So, can you be like Abram, and let go of what God is asking you to? Can you walk away from a situation, a relationship, a job, a ministry? Can you lift your eyes and say, “I don’t know what You’re doing Lord, but I’m all in”? Can you move forward not knowing what forward looks like?

It is hard. It may not be fun. It may take years before the reason why surfaces, or it may never be seen. But if you feel that nudge deep within you, whispering or screaming, that tells you to let go…I have only one thing to say to you, my friend.

Let it go.

Becoming…

Seven weeks ago, my man and I entered into a new stage of life…grandparenting.

Oh. My. Goodness. What a wonderful stage!

The first time I held our little one, I must say, the feeling was a bit strange. Now before you start composing your rebuttal, read on please. Holding this new baby, this baby of my baby, put my brain into a momentary space of overload. Looking into the dark eyes, feeling the soft hair, realizing that this little one will most definitely change my life…well, I had to have a moment or two.

And girls, seeing my child hold his child…no one could have prepared me for the rush of emotion that brought. My boy as a dad, and as a caring and attentive spouse, kind of transports a mom back to the days when he was the baby being carried around everywhere. (Moms of youngers–I know you hear it all the time, but moments like this make it oh-so-real–the time really does go by quickly. Enjoy your sweet littles now!)

Seven weeks later, my man and I stand a bit more accustomed to this new role. We are currently enjoying some time with this new family of three, and it couldn’t be more wonderful. We are eager to be around our little one, and are excited to be able to help out mom and dad whenever they need us. Interacting with such a sweet face never grows old. Watching my man morph into “Opa” has been a true blessing for me.

My transition to “Oma?” It was been filled with such feelings. I remember looking at our little one with love of course. But more than that, I felt freedom. Freedom to just love this baby. Freedom to just enjoy this baby. Freedom to just be in this baby’s life. Freedom that is almost indescribable.

That is, until I think of this verse: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1 (NIV). The freedom I experience each time I’m with our little one reminds me of the freedom I have as a believer in Christ.

I can love this little one without being burdened about all the “raising of a child” responsibilities. As a believer, I can love God with my whole self, with a freedom that I cannot experience in any other relationship.

I can enjoy this little one without the anxiety of “am I doing everything right?”. Following God means I love Him without expectation of being perfect.

With this little one, I can be involved in life with full assurance that this is where I should be. Living as a believer in Christ, I can live knowing that God has placed me where I am to be doing what I’m doing.

It is for freedom that Christ died for me. It is for freedom that God adopted me into His family. It is for freedom that God doesn’t remember my past or bring it to mind.

And it is for freedom that our Lord allowed my man and I to become people we have never been before. We embrace this new identity with a newfound freedom to love, to enjoy, and to just be. We look forward to continuing our becoming…

Cleaning out…

It’s the beginning of a new year. Time to do the dreaded…cleaning out!

So, being the good cleaner-outer (?), I began the process in my home. Finally, I came to the point when I had to tackle…the refrigerator!

My fridge in the cleaning process…

Of course, I left the kitchen and all it’s fun for the end of my cleaning adventures.

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and I love all the great foods I create there. But, I’m not a big fan of straightening and organizing and cleaning it. I don’t know why…

As I moved food stuff from the fridge to the counter, I started thinking about things. If you’ve been with me here for a while, you know that God speaks to me in times that I don’t always expect. This cleaning out time didn’t disappoint, and as He started guiding my thoughts, we “landed” on this so-important-but-often-overlooked idea–just as we resist the cleaning out process in our homes, we also resist the cleaning out process in our lives.

Yep, told ya. My God really makes me think…

Moving jars of discernable and non-discernable food items seemed relatively easy. If I could tell what it was, the date hadn’t expired, and it was still in an usable form, it stayed. If I was puzzled by its very presence in the fridge, the expiration date was worn off, or it no longer served a purpose, it was put in the trash. Pretty simple sorting process. Along the way, the storage places were scrubbed, wiped out, washed, and dried so that all the stuff that belonged in the fridge had a clean place to be. It took time, but the end result made me happy that I tackled such a chore.

In those moments, God led me to think about how this cleaning out process could be applied to my life. There are areas of my world that need some refreshing. Some things in my life need to be looked at under the microscope using the same classifications that I used in the fridge…

Can I tell what it is or am I puzzled about why it’s still in my life? Where in my life am I just “going through the motions?” Do I have places in my life where I have lost the fire and replaced it with an unconscious apathy?

What is the expiration date? Have I stayed in activities beyond the “expiration date?” Could I be taking up a spot meant for someone else simply because I don’t like to change?

Is it still in usable form or does it have a purpose? Am I making a real contribution in the places I am? God has a purpose for each of our lives–does this activity align with His purpose or am I trying to make it my purpose instead?

Heavy questions for a morning of cleaning!

While I don’t have all the answers to these yet, I do have plenty over which to think and pray. Paul’s words in Ephesians come to mind as I evaluate my life: “…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (Ephesians 4:1 NIV). At this point in my life, I no longer want to spend my time spinning my wheels in activities that may have suited me in the past. I want to remain open to whatever God has planned for me; to remove myself from the equation so I can better see the steps God has for me to take. I view my life as a way to minister to others, so I certainly do not want to be apathetic in any area–the very idea makes my stomach turn. Perhaps apathy takes many forms–and if I’m feeling disconnected, defeated, or disingenuous, maybe I need to take a hard look as to why those emotions are around. Purpose, contribution, alignment…three words that have really taken on new meaning during this “cleaning” time.

Do any of the above questions or ideas resonate with you? Are you feeling like your life needs some “cleaning out?” What areas of your world need some scrubbing, some moving around, some wiping down? I find that some of my best God times come when I am accomplishing something, so today…

All clean and organized for…let’s be honest, it will probably be six months or more before I clean this again!

…I encourage you to do some cleaning. Find a place in your home that needs some attention. Allow God to meet you as you work to accomplish. Listen as He guides your thoughts. Think about your life and how you are using it. Let God show you areas where you are going through the motions. Focus in on places that He may want to move you to or from. Keep the purpose or calling of your life, as shown to you by God, in the forefront of your thoughts as you look over your activities. You will have some sweet time with God, and you’ll have a task completed! Definite win-win!

We live in such a crazy world, my friend. Live every moment in such a way that others will know that you are a child of God. Keep cleaning your life out, getting rid of the stuff that doesn’t honor God. With eyes looking upward, step forward each day confident in the path He has shown you. As long as we have Jesus… “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3 NIV).

The “best” of times…

The text you see on this picture was my first writing to be “published.”

I was copy editor for my high school yearbook.  Along with checking over spellings, I also had the task of writing blurbs that were placed on pages.  This page however, was all mine.  I decided on the content and the picture. 

I wanted it to be perfect.

And, I think it turned out pretty nicely.  That girl in the picture (yes that’s me with my trusty comb in my pocket—it was the 80’s, we all had combs in our pockets! And we shared them, too!!) thought she was writing truth as she penned those words that would forever be immortalized in the pages of “The Lasso.”

Looking back now, I know…those words were lies.

The high school years, as a lump sum, were not the “best of times” for me.  Not even close.   

I suppose that is a bit shocking.

If you were to ask people who knew me then how my life would turn out, I’m sure most some of them would have had a lot of negative ideas.  I wasn’t the sweetest girl in high school.  I wasn’t even the second, third, fourth, fifth, etc.… My mouth was full of foul language, and my heart was full of disappointment.  Matthew 12:34b said, “For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” The overflow of my heart was anger, cruelty, hate. Broken dreams, shattered promises, an unhealthy desire to be popular (no matter the cost), all fueled the words from my mouth and the evil in my actions. Behind the smiles and colorful language stood a crying little girl who couldn’t understand how her life had somehow turned into such a mess.

My heart hurt, though at the time I truly didn’t grasp just how much…

Time has a way of opening your eyes to all the junk you never knew was there.

Looking back over that time in my life, I could be tempted to write that all those emotions and actions were caused by the typical “teenage angst” that a lot of people experienced. Yes, some of it was absolutely caused by the hormonal fluctuations and the search for my place in the world.  Boyfriends, girl drama, parental rules, all played a part in my displays. My search for me also led me down paths that were so destructive—trying to fit in when I felt deep inside so very out of place caused me to say and do and think and believe things that I never should have.  Some of them I will place in the “teenage drama” pile.

But others of them…

John 10:10 said, “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy.” 1 Peter 5:8 stated it like this: “Be serious!  Be alert! Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.”  Am I saying that my enemy was after me during my teen years? Absolutely! I was a little girl, then teenage girl, who attended church every Sunday.  I was music leader, pianist, VBS volunteer, youth group member. I watched babies in the nursery, and played with the younger kids.  I knew a lot about Scripture, and could tell you all about the heroes of the faith. It appeared I had a good handle on the church thing–and I did.  I had a bunch of head knowledge.  My heart however, did not know the One Who could help me stand strong against the many attacks of my enemy.  I attended church, but I refused to obey the God Who saves.

And that, my sweet, was why I had the target on my back.

I did church, but I wasn’t living out church after I left the sanctuary. I was the perfect prey; someone who went to church, but dwelled 100% in the cold world.

And that, my friend, was why my high school years weren’t the “best of times.” That girl had no idea all the pain and sadness and anger she felt was all part of a plan to destroy her. Her enemy had her securely in his clutches; as long as she hurt, she would never look to find a way out of the dark. 

Even though she knew all about the Light…

The picture I painted of that teen girl was bleak. Years passed, but the hurt inside didn’t.  God was there,waiting f or the girl to realize her oh-so-heavy need for Him. Through the man who was now her husband, the girl started to realize that true love was a real thing. She began confessing to him some of the things her younger self had done.  She felt something she hadn’t before—remorse.  God was working.  The husband was understanding, forgiving, loving during these times. He didn’t walk away, or find someone else, or hurt her with his words. He stayed. The darkness started to lighten…

And finally, the girl who knew all about God in her head, let Him into her heart.

Everything changed.

Over time, God cleaned out my heart—away went the anger, hate, bitterness, envy. Gone were the desires to fit in. My heart, that had been so black and sin-filled, became healthy again. My moods became more stable.  My words did not contain filth or rage. My actions were based out of love and acceptance. No longer did I look for ways to get someone back for a wrong; instead, I brought that hurt to God, allowing Him to soothe my pain.  My relationships became solid, based on the real me rather than the me I chose to portray in the moment.

When I tell people who know me now about my past, they truly can’t believe it.  I give full credit to God for the change in me. Remember earlier I said I had a target on my back? I know that target was there because my enemy knew that if God changed my heart and life, I would be an extraordinary example of the transforming power of God’s love, grace, and mercy. My enemy did not want me to become what I am today—a woman who writes for the glory of God, a woman who serves the God of the universe, a woman who lives for the furthering of God’s kingdom. He did everything he could to make sure that didn’t happen. “The One Who is in (me) is greater than the one who is in the world!” (1 John 4:4). Praise God!

So my sweet, if you feel like you’re walking around with a “kick me” sign on your back, I completely understand. Our enemy will do anything to keep us from walking in the Light of Jesus. He will give us blatant bad choices, as well as choices that don’t seem as hurtful. He will put us in places that don’t seem that dangerous, just not quite right. He will bring people into our lives that seem genuine, mostly. He is very cunning, and will disguise himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14), so those choices don’t seem completely wrong.

My very heart-felt and experience-driven advice is: if something or someone gives you a weird feeling in your soul, run away. Run fast and run far. Dipping only our toes in the water of our enemy, seemingly without effect, doesn’t make us some spiritual giant; in reality, it makes us double minded. We cannot be friends with the world (and our enemy), and fully serve the Lord.  Our enemy wants all of us, and eventually he will get us if we aren’t vigilant. Believe me, the descent will be slow, but once he has you, you will not be able to climb out on your own.  You will not run then, my friend. Only the grace of God will save you.

If you’re having some issues with the dark, stop reading right now and pray.  Ask God to get you out of it. Believe that He will, because He WILL. Run don’t walk, away from the person, the circumstance, the thing. Turn around and stop going in that direction. Let God take that sign off your back. 

Because then, you will realize that you are living in the “best of times” right here, right now.

And that, my dear, is the truth…

Expecting…

Now before you start thinking this is a baby or grandbaby post…let me stop you. It isn’t…

Nope, this post is about expecting snow. I live in an area of the country that doesn’t get a snowy forecast often. MAYBE 3-5 times a year is all we have the potential for the fluffy white stuff. Being a mountains of Virginia girl, I grew up with lots of that white falling from the sky. I don’t remember being too upset about it, especially when it meant I had a day off from school! Even better, we had a small hill that we could play on, roll around on, slip and slide on…aaahhh, memories!

Because of this expected snowfall, many preparations are being made. Schools are closing early, activities are being cancelled, groceries are being bought. What am I doing to prepare? Well, honestly, nothing…

You see, I prescribe to the thought pattern that says I should be prepped for whatever eventuality might come. That means I always have something in my house to cook. I always have clean clothes to wear (because I have too many clothes…another post). I always have gas in my car (thanks to my man!). I always keep updated on the weather conditions (thanks to the handy-dandy weather app on my phone!). I always try my best to be ready for just about anything.

My community is mixed about the potential for snowfall. Some people are soooo excited about it (read students and teachers!). Others are pretty ambivalent (read those who don’t have to get out in it). Still others are dreading it (read those who have to travel or work in it). Isn’t it funny how the same event can spark so many different reactions? We aren’t all made the same…

…though it would be better sometimes if we were. Take an example from my recent. I have a big vision for a big thing. Like really big. So big in fact that I’m not sure what to do with it. For a person who doesn’t have big picture ideas, it’s very hard for this detail-oriented person to wrap her brain around it. And yet that’s what God has given me–and it’s scary. Just like the “expected snow camps,” I have various reactions. I am excited about the possibility, I am ambivalent about the many steps of prep, and I dread the roadblocks and questions. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t take too kindly to others who set up hurdles on my perfectly smooth expectation road. I expect one thing to happen, and am seriously upset when something else does. I don’t do a great job preparing for the potential of different reactions…

My expectations don’t match up to reality.

Are you like me? Do you find yourself thinking one thing will happen, and then are completely blindsided when something else happens instead? Do you deal well with others who have different thoughts than you? Do you get so caught up in the picture of perfect that you forget to see the imperfects along the way? Do your expectations reflect reality? Are you prepared for the inevitable pothole?

As I struggle with this, I wanted to see what the Bible said about expectations. Because you see, my sweet, I don’t plan on giving up this idea God has planted deep within me…but my spirit gets weary when I perceive potholes on my expectation road. Here’s what I found in Deuteronomy 10:12-13 (MSG): “So now Israel (and this is us as well), what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in His presence in holy reverence, follow the road He sets out for you, love Him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God…—live a good life.”

WOW!

My friend, God has expectations of us. He wants us to live in His presence. He wants us to follow the road He sets (potholes, broken expectations, and all!). He wants us to love and serve Him with our everything. He wants us to obey Him. And, He wants us to live a good life. Not an OK life, or a struggle-free life, or a perfect life. A good life. A life with ups and downs. A life with smooth roads and and not-so-smooth roads. A life with easy days and tough days. A life in full expectancy of what He will do, how He will work, where He will lead, when He will come, who He will bring into our lives.

An expectant life. One that looks to Him for strength and guidance, acknowledges the challenges, drives through the potholes, embraces the imperfections, pushes aside the negative emotion, holds tightly to God’s unchanging hand, keeps her eyes on the skies…

…always in hopeful expectancy of Him.

And sometimes, like today, even expecting snow…

Genesis 31…

Happy Monday to you!  We land today in Genesis 31 (thanks to enduringword.com for thoughts on this chapter).

All “good things” must come to an end.  Jacob had spent twenty long years in service to his father-in-law.  And that was long enough.  God told Jacob to return to his father’s land, away from Laban.  Remember that Laban’s sons were spreading lies about Jacob, and Laban himself had changed his attitude toward him.  Sometimes it’s better to “get while the getting’s good”—so Jacob approached his two sister wives to talk about what God had told him.

I got a chuckle from these two women.  Remember in Wednesday’s discussion on chapter 30, the women seemed to have one goal in life; to fight over Jacob, children, and mandrakes.  It seemed as if nothing would cause them to be united; yet their obvious distaste for their father actually brought them together. Not the greatest thing to be reunited over, but maybe this was the first step toward the reconciliation of their relationship.

During the dream that is referenced in verses 11-13, God reminded Jacob of all He had blessed him with during his time with Laban. Chapter 30 showed us the way that Jacob’s flocks increased; here we see that Jacob knew how to increase the number of streaked or spotted goats because of some guidance he received in a dream. In that same dream, God caused Jacob to remember his time in Bethel—the anointing of the stone and the making of a vow (Genesis 28:10-22). God gently showed Jacob that He was the same God Who spoke to him there, Who gave Jacob the promises within the covenant, Who said He would not leave him. Interestingly enough, I heard a sermon from my pastor just yesterday that encouraged us to remember what God had done for us—and then to share those wonders with others.  Jacob needed to share with his wives all the things God had said, the ways God had protected him, the guidance that God had given in order for Rachel and Leah to be a part of the plan.  My friend, we all have had wonderful things happen to us in our lives, places where we received such peace, obstacles that have been moved or overcome.  Please learn from Jacob and apply this to your life—share what God has done for you.  Don’t keep it to yourself; someone else may just need those encouraging words to overcome some mountain in his/her life.

Jacob now had the support of his wives, so he loaded his whole family on camels (this is just a tidbit to show us how wealthy Jacob was.  Camels weren’t cheap…). Taking his livestock, he left in secret.  Oh my, the deceiver at work again here.  Even though Jacob had told his family about God’s words, he himself still had some doubt.  Rather than leave in a customary fashion, he thought that Laban may try to block his departure, and so he sneaked off with all that was his.  We can find ourselves in Jacob’s actions—we may receive guidance from God, but are not quite sure how to go about doing what He has shown us.  We take off in the direction WE think we should go, ignoring the way that God wants us to go. We need to remember all that God has done for us, and trust His leading, not our own feeling.

As a parting shot of sorts, Rachel stole one of her father’s gods.  Some possible reasons why she did this: she may have worshiped those idols; she didn’t want her dad to inquire of them and use divination to discover her family’s whereabouts; she stole them to get back at her father; she wanted to keep her father away from idolatry. Regardless of the reasoning, this little deception would cause her more problems…

Laban finally discovered that Jacob and his family had hit the road, so he pursued them.  It was roughly 300 miles from Haran to the mountains, and eventually Laban caught up with Jacob.  God knows the intentions of every heart, believer or not.  He told Laban to be careful with Jacob, hinting that Laban had thoughts of doing something unkind to his son-in-law. When Laban found Jacob, he tried to come at the whole event with kindness (“you didn’t let me kiss my grandchildren and daughters goodbye” v. 28). Quickly though, he turned around to perhaps reveal his real intent: “You (Jacob) have done a foolish thing. I have the power to harm you…Why did you steal my gods?” (v.28-30). Read these words from the commentary—“Laban’s question shows the foolishness of idolatry. It is sad and strange to have a god that can be stolen.” Laban had not followed the ways of Jacob, had not turned his life over to the God of his brother Abraham.  He was still caught up in the deception of a god that could be stolen by human hands. 

We see that, through deception, Rachel managed to keep her “extra cargo” a secret from her daddy and Jacob.  Because Laban could not find the physical evidence to support his idea that Jacob had stolen his god, Jacob took advantage and gave Laban an earful.  This speech had been building in Jacob for 20 years, he may have even stood alongside the watering hole practicing it! Jacob pointed out that the “God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac” had seen what Laban had done to him over the years and had protected Jacob and rebuked Laban (still Jacob isn’t claiming God as his own). After this, Laban realized that he had crossed a line, and wanted to ensure his safety from Jacob.

A covenant was created between Jacob and Laban.  Notice that, even though Laban had worshipped a god that could be stolen, he still asked the Lord to keep watch between them. We see this same kind of behavior in our society—people will not acknowledge God, but if something traumatic happens, they are all asking God for this and that.  Our God is not a God of convenience, He is a God of constancy. In this covenant, both parties pledge to stay on their side of the stone pillar.  Both agree that God will be the watcher of the men; as an overseer of relationships between Jacob and the wives, and as a guard over staying on the right side of the pillar.  If either crossed over, he would be killed by the other.  Harsh, but necessary in this case.

So what do we learn from this passage? A lot! We must listen to what God tells us, and trust in Him to make it happen.  We need to be united in fellowship with our sisters. We have to remember what God has done for us, and be willing to share it with others. We should deal with others with integrity. We must keep idols out of our lives.  We need to remember that God watches over all of us; all of our dealings, all of our thoughts, all of our actions, all of our words.  Allow God to rule in your heart and life—and He will lead you on the path that is best for you.

Not about me…

I begin this writing because I feel like I need to write.

I don’t know what’s going to come out of these fingertips, but I continue anyway.

Have you ever had a day when you feel like you should do something, but you don’t know what?

Today is one of those days for me.

I awakened to the promise of rain this morning. I am a walker, and I like to do my exercising first thing in the morning. Today, as I contemplated what to do, God pretty much made me aware of the chance for rain–and squashed my plans to go out. Within half an hour, the rain was pouring, and I was very thankful for that guidance. But, at the time, my brain just had a fuss-fest: “Really God? You know I like to get out and get done before something else takes my focus. You know that I wanted to do this today. You know…”

Yep, even with the chance of much-needed rain, all I could think about was me…

Melancholy? You bet.

Now I could go into some story of how I know life isn’t all about me, and that I stepped back and gained control over my thoughts. I could go that route, but first, I think I need to get real with you, my dear.

I don’t always accept that life isn’t all about me.

Does that confession make you think less of me? Or does it strike a chord deep within yourself?

Does the idea I just expressed fit in to your idea of someone who blogs, writes, teaches, for Jesus?

If not, I think it’s time to take off the perceptions we have of other women. Take all those and throw them in the garbage where they belong.

Because, let’s be honest. We never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life...struggles, pain, disappointment, are present with everyone.

When we have pre-conceived notions about someone else’s life, we get into the comparison game that never has a winner. I know you’ve played it before. I can honestly tell you that I have…many times. That game led me down some paths difficult to step off; those paths colored my existence for lots of years, and along the way came decisions that neither honored God nor honored myself as a female. All because I had ideas about how my life should be…based on how I thought others’ lives were.

I wish I could say that those things ended as I became older. But, now that I have fully embraced the lifestyle of writer/blogger/teacher, that same comparison game wants me to play. Sometimes I think: “There are other women who are more successful, more well-known, more visible. Others who have book deals, millions of followers, speaking tours. Others spreading God’s Word around the world, filling stadiums, saving souls.“

And where does that leave me? Writing my tiny blog, doing my tiny Bible study, filming my tiny videos, living my tiny life…

Yep, that’s where my thoughts could go. And honestly, sometimes I do go. But friend, I don’t stay there. Instead, this is what I know…

…even though it’s not all about me, my God cares so very much about me (and about you, my friend).

I may never have a million followers. I may never have a book deal. I may never speak to a stadium full of people. I may never be well-known. I may never have a film crew making me look wondrous in my videos. I may never have any of these things (though if you’re a part of a film crew and you’d like to work for free, contact me!). But what I do have…

…is the knowledge that God uses me to reach a group of people through this blog and the social media page. I know that I had the incredible opportunity to hear my children say they wanted to ask Jesus into their hearts–and prayed that sweet prayer with them. God has put me in places to speak words of comfort, humor, encouragement into the lives of others. He changed my whole life around so that I could have time to study His Word, and pass that on. I sometimes teach in non-conventional ways. God has given, and continues to give, these little drops into my life.

If you take some time to really think about it, I am sure that God will fill your mind with all the good things you have. As humans, we tend to think in terms of what we don’t have, instead of basking in the goodness of all that we do. It is amazing that, even though we have days when we don’t live up to all He wants from us, He still blesses us waaaayy beyond.

And yes, my sweet, He has done the same for you.

Today, I’m going to ask you to do something. Get real with God. Tell Him your struggles. Admit your fears. Cry that good, ugly cry. Lay it all out on the table. Let Him love you from your soul outward. And after that, move on… and live.

Ask Him to show you how to live in a way that’s not about you. Ask Him to take your mind away from what you don’t have in comparison to others. Ask Him to focus your mind on all you do have. Ask Him to bring new opportunities to serve in ways that fit you just right. Ask Him to give you courage to be real with people…share your struggles, but don’t make them the core of your being.

Because my sweet, even though we have moments when we don’t have all the cheery feels, we can rest knowing that we aren’t alone. Everyone struggles, everyone has days, everyone does or thinks or feels in ways that we may not like… the difference lies in what you do next.

It’s not all about us…it’s about how we live in Him, through Him, by Him, for Him.

The Sky…

It was the weirdest thing…

Almost as if I were in two separate places…

But I wasn’t…

One day after a brief rain event, and I ventured outside with my sweet girl Nala. These images show what we saw…

How strange to see such different skies. All I had to do was turn my head, and I got two different views.

As I marveled at the show above me, I thought about how easy decisions would be if we had such clear markers. “Turn this way, skies are a bit gray, clouds look threatening. Everything may not work out.” “Turn this way, skies are blue, clouds are puffy white. Everything will be great.”

I always look for sky-writing to help me in the big stuff (or the not-so-big stuff), but I never seem to get it. If only the clouds would tell me what choice would be best…

But we don’t get that, do we? I’m reminded of Proverbs 3: 5&6–“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Even after spending time in prayer, our answers still aren’t necessarily clear. Asking the counsel of godly friends who know us well can be another path…but even then, we may still have an uneasiness about a decision.

Is it too much to expect clear answers for our every day concerns or life-changing decisions?

I believe God gives answers to our heart-cry questions. The problem isn’t with God–the problem is with us and our ability to hear His guidance.

Sorry, I know that stings a bit…it stings for me to type it.

How often do you pray for wisdom or guidance on a topic, then go about your day without another thought to said prayer?

It’s perfectly OK to admit that you’ve done this…

Our most fervent prayers, our deepest heart-cries, our strongest fears…all of those situations make us drop to our knees. But, my friend, do we truly stay there after the prayer is over? Do we keep an attitude of prayer, humility, and openness, as we wait for His response? Or, do we spend a few minutes at His feet, then get up and go on with our day, exasperated because He didn’t answer in our time frame?

I know how that goes…the sky writing doesn’t come…

I wish I could give you a specific amount of time that you should pray about something–and then, after that, an answer will appear before your eyes. I wish I could give you a specific prayer to pray that would guarantee to open the floodgates of heaven within 10 minutes of “amen.” I wish I could give you a foolproof formula to follow in prayer that would clear your mind and heart so you could be super attentive to God’s leading. I wish…

But alas, I cannot give you those things. I can, however, offer a different way to view those times…

First, I draw your attention back to our verse for today: Proverbs 3: 5 & 6– “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” The most important element in prayer of any type is trust. We have to believe down deep in our souls that God hears what we pray. We have to hold tightly to the fact that He knows our deepest desires, our truest feelings, our craziest ideas. Whenever we come to Him in prayer, we have to trust…pure and simple. If we don’t truly trust Him to hear and to answer, we cannot be upset when He doesn’t appear to do so.

Secondly, we have to trust with all (our) heart. We cannot partially trust, or only trust Him in certain areas of life. Nope, our whole heart has to be sold out to the Lordship of Christ. We have to expect Him to hear and answer, and we have to keep our hearts open to His leadings. We cannot make our own assumptions, or lean on our own understanding. We as finite creatures cannot know all that God does (and I’m oh-so-thankful for that!). What we see, believe, and conjure up in our minds may not be part of God’s plan. We live in a convoluted world, and even though we try to stay away from its influence, we are still at times drawn in to the lies and perceptions that are rampant today. That is why, my friend, that we cannot put our trust in our own strength–our motives may not be pure, our actions may not be God-honoring, our thoughts may not be centered on Christ.

I know, another ouch.

Thirdly, we have to submit to Christ in everything. EVERYTHING. That means decisions, big or small…”in all (our) ways.” We may think we have all the facts, and that we are perfectly suited to make this judgment call. I will caution you against this. Though our enemy cannot hear our thoughts, he does watch for what we do or to what we turn our attention. It is then that he can and will present options that seem totally logical and “right.” If we live a life where we are totally submitted to Christ, we will have a closeness to Him. We will recognize His voice among all the others (John 10:27–” My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”) We will know His ways and His guidance because we have spent so much time with Him. Submitting to Christ isn’t a one-and-done ideal; instead, it is an ongoing process that requires us to be in His presence listening to and learning from Him.

And finally, our verse says: “… and He will make your paths straight.” There is a very important word in that phrase, and that word is… and. If we trust in God, if we don’t rely on our own understanding, if we submit our whole selves to Him…then, He will make our paths straight. But notice, my friend, what the verse doesn’t say: it doesn’t say that He will make our paths easy. I think that’s a real issue when it comes to hearing God’s guidance. We just expect it to be easy…after all, I’ve given my life to Christ. I live for Him each day. I spend time with Him and His Word. I try to be a good person, shining His light for all to see. Why wouldn’t my life be easy?

Why, indeed.

Unfortunately, our verse doesn’t give us an easy out. It merely says that, if we do those things, God will make our paths straight. Even as I was typing that, I had a thought–“straight” to God doesn’t necessarily mean “straight” to us. If I want to accomplish something, I want the shortest and easiest route possible to that goal. That is not God’s way every time, though. Sometimes, we have a lot of growing to do and He has a lot of pruning to do before we can stand on the verge of His plans. Sometimes, our ideals may be similar, but not exactly what God has purposed for us. So, we have to take some side trips in order to find out that we are circling all around what He wants us to do. Sometimes, even after much prayer and searching, we still have ventured out in the wrong direction…and God has to slowly (or quickly) turn our steps around in order to bring us onto His path. Straight is not in a line–instead, straight is the path on which God has placed us. That path leads us straight…to Him.

Today, I encourage you to commit our verse to memory. Think about how it has been broken up, and then use those breaks to guide your prayer time with God. Expect Him to hear you. Stop looking for your own answers and solutions. Give Him the honor and leadership in your life that He deserves. Rejoice in the fact that this path will lead you straight to God. Ask Him the hard questions, pray for those hard things, request His presence in the hard times. Trust Him and what He is doing. Believe that He has your best interests at heart. Know that He loves you more than anyone else.

And keep looking to the sky–not for sky-writing; but for encouragement, calm, and moments of worship. It truly is amazing what you will see when you stop looking down or looking at yourself…

…and start looking up…

Sunday’s coming…

Thanks to Bible.com for the use of this graphic.

I’ve read many graphics that say, “It’s Friday…but Sunday’s coming.”

When I first saw this, I wasn’t sure what to think.

Yes, it’s Good Friday. But I had trouble getting past the gruesomeness of this day to look forward to the promise of Sunday.

I think we have this problem in a lot of our life issues…

We are stuck in a non-fulfilling job (and we can’t see any way to move beyond it). We receive a difficult diagnosis (and we can’t see that there are treatment options available). We are hurt deeply by someone we trusted (and we can’t imagine ever trusting that person or anyone ever again). We are disappointed by someone at church (and we can’t imagine ever attending any church again). We walk down a path believing it was God’s will only to discover heartache, turmoil, disillusionment (and we can’t fathom how we will ever step out in faith again).

Yep, these are hard to get over…

The horror of this day in history is often seen in graphic images. When I watched “The Passion of the Christ” with my man, I had to hide my face in his shoulder when it came to the beatings and subsequent crucifixion of Jesus. I do not enjoy scenes of violence (read, I don’t watch them at all), and to see depicted on the big screen what my finite brain only dared to slightly imagine…it was too much. I remember hearing sobs in the theater, and that day, I knew only through the wonder of cinematography how it could have been for those who loved Jesus. Watching His torture, seeing His pain, and knowing that it couldn’t be stopped had to be overwhelming.

My heart squeezes when I think of it…

I am sure that His loved ones reacted as we do when someone we love leaves this earth. Pain, regret, loneliness, anger, overwhelming sorrow had to be part of their emotions on that day. Yes, Jesus had talked with them about what would happen to Him, including His resurrection (John 2:19-22–“Jesus answered them, ‘Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.’ They replied, ‘It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and You are going to raise it in three days?’  But the temple he had spoken of was His body. After He was raised from the dead, His disciples recalled what He had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken”). But, as Scripture said, they were not able to understand what He was saying (John 12:16). My heart goes out to the disciples–they had the Son of God with them, teaching them, telling them about what was to come. But they just didn’t have the capacity to understand the depth of His teachings.

I can totally understand because I’m sure there are times when He tries to teach me that…well, I don’t get it.

So I can see Jesus’ loved ones, standing there, watching Him utter the words of our target verse: “When He had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, He bowed His head and gave up His spirit” (John 19:30). The immense sadness had to darken any hope that they may have had.

They didn’t know Sunday was coming…

…and I think we live like it isn’t, either.

Our world is tough. As believers, we are not guaranteed an easy life–far from it. “He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45). That verse alone may cause us to hide under the covers. Remember though, our God is a just God, and He loves all people the same. He doesn’t want any of His created people to perish–“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). He wants everyone to come into a saving relationship with Him, to enjoy the rights and privileges given to His children–the ones we enjoy as believers–love, joy, peace, eternal residency in heaven. It can be difficult enough to live in our world with all the evil influences; and we can become bogged down by all the yuck and muck…

…and forget Sunday’s coming.

Oh my friend, it IS coming. Not just this week, but in the future. Yes we will enjoy a glorious Resurrection Sunday in a few days. We will forget all about the devastation of Friday, and will look to the empty tomb as a beacon of hope. We will sing our songs of a joy-filled belief that Jesus defeated the power of sin and death. We will raise our voices and hands to heaven as an offering of worship and gratification for what He has done for us. We may even, somewhere in our brains, think of what His resurrection means for us in the future. There will be another “Sunday” for us as we pass from this life of struggle into an eternal life filled with more joys than we can imagine. We will leave our churches with a renewed spirit of gladness…and maybe even some anticipation…

But how do we live past Sunday?

Sweetheart, Easter is only a day. Celebrating the risen Savior should be a lifetime. Jesus didn’t stay in the grave, He didn’t stay on earth. He moved back to be with His Father. That alone is reason to celebrate! Can you just take a minute and rejoice in the fact that, though the skeptics look, they will not find Him in any of those tombs in Israel? He sits next to God, watching, praying, loving. He is waiting for the Ultimate “Sunday”–when He returns to this sin-filled planet to take His righteous people to glory. Our Sundays may be only one day a week–but when we leave this earth, we will live every “day” like it’s a Sunday. Because it will be. For us, everyday will be a “Sonday,” filled with the light and love of Jesus as we live with Him forever in a place too wondrous for our minds to comprehend.

Be overjoyed, my friend! It may be dark, rainy, cold, miserable, where you are on this Friday. But don’t dwell there on that day, because…

…your Sunday’s coming!

 

Thanks so much for reading today!  I appreciate you more than I can say.  Would you take a few seconds and complete this poll?  Thanks again!

Powerful…

Telling someone else about the things you’ve done is tough.  Will they judge me?  Will they see me differently? Will this be the end to our relationship?  Unfortunately, sometimes that confession does cause those things to happen. Humans do not have the capacity to forgive without hesitation—only through the power of Christ at work in us are we able to truly forgive.

There is an old saying that says, “Confession is good for the soul.” If we are involved in something currently or have been involved in something in the past, it may feel good to tell someone about it.  But, unless there is a turn away from that something, your confession is only words.  And there will come a time when you feel like you need to confess again.  When we let someone else in to our most difficult or shame-filled spaces, we have to be ready to deal with whatever is found there.  By confessing what we’ve done to a close friend, we are taking some of the control that situation has on us away; the enemy wants us to keep things locked inside so he can keep reminding us of those bad decisions.  Putting those sins out for another to hear is like a dagger in our enemy– placing them outside ourselves gives God the opportunity to use what we’ve done for His glory.  He can and will take all those broken pieces and create something beautiful in His time.  What we’ve done, confessed, dealt with, and moved on from may be exactly what someone else is currently experiencing.  That person may need the encouragement that only your story can give. Prayers will also help make the process of confession not necessarily easier to do, but will give the courage needed to open up and allow another to see that vulnerability.

Our verse also has a small phrase in it…”so that you may be healed.” Have you ever thought about how telling your story, confessing your wrongs, can be healing? I’ve personally seen how confessing a bad decision can be almost like a soothing “lotion” to another–and even to self. Putting all that junk of sin out for all to see might not sound like your idea of healing…by no means am I saying to let it all out and tell everyone everything you’ve ever done. I think that may just be a very bad case of oversharing… No, what I am saying is that by confessing those sins to the person that you hurt in that moment may begin a healing process that both people need. We never truly know how our own actions affect someone else. By accepting our part in the sin, confessing it, and letting it go could start a relieving that has been so desperately needed…by everyone.

Asking another to pray for us as we tell our story can be extremely powerful. On our own my friend, we can never hope to break away from the chains that past or even present events have placed on us.  Our verse says that the “prayer(s) of a righteous person (are) powerful and effective.” When we are prompted to share part of our past, we must believe that God will use that telling to either help someone else or help us.  Prayer can be used to help us in times of confession or help another come to the realization that something needs to be different. Praying for someone to not only confess sin but to also turn away from it is a bold prayer, but one that we need to pray for all those who have not given their lives over to Christ.  We are not responsible for the salvation of another, but we are responsible for praying for needs as we see them.  Salvation is a universal necessity—more people than we could believe are in a desperate hunt for a Savior.  Pray when you feel the nudge, take someone aside when God whispers that a person needs you.  Your prayers as a child of God are powerful, and are heard by the King of Kings.  Use your prayers often as mighty weapons against the enemy and strong tools for the kingdom.

Confess to each other. Powerfully and effectively pray for each other. Be healed.

Strengthen us, dear Lord, to walk in the ways You lead us–empty us of ourselves so that we can lead a life worthy of the calling You have placed on us. May we pray often for those in need, those we love, those we’ve hurt, those who search for healing. Hear the prayers of your children…and give us the courage to believe that our prayers are powerful and effective.